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Well would you look at that. Cal's little handy pal is dancing over the squished corpse of a roach. How cute.

I wonder what this numbskull thinks he's doing sitting on his phone. He's supposed to be at Duke's by now… Who's he texting who's more important than his BFFTEFAL (Best Friend for the Entire Mother Fucking Afterlife)?? Let's snoop.

CAL: hey fent
FETKET: Oh, hi Cal! what's up.
CAL: dude I just found a huge ass roach on my floor and killed that mother fucker do you want a pic
CAL: lefty is dancin over him right now. rip.
FETKET: Okay, hear me out. Maybe don't kill the roach next time. How would you feel if you were killed simply for being small? While being in the wrong place, at the wrong time?
FETKET: Seems awfully cruel to me.
FETKET: Anyways. Yes, send me an image. Preferably one before it was smooshed to death. It's easier to identify the species when it's a photo of something more than a pile of bug guts.
CAL: sure thing bucko
[ img.png from CAL ]

CAL: this good?
FETKET: Oh yes, wonderful.
FETKET: Did you take that photo before smooshing him just for me? How sweet of you, Cal.
CAL: yeah i did i know youre trying to curate that nerdy species list of the bugs in the trailerpark so i took a pic
CAL: you're welcome
FETKET: Thank you very much!
FETKET: After examiniation, this cockroach is an oriental cockroach, or Blatta orientalis. Good job on adding your hand to show scale, Cal. Very helpful for identifying.
FETKET: Would you mind if I came over to your camper and looked for more? Especially for corpses. I need to start collecting some specimens.
CAL: sure dude
CAL: OH SHIT no you cant nevermind
CAL: i'm supposed to be over at dukes rn holy shit fuck asshole dicksucker motherfucker
CAL: you can come later ill catch you on the flipside gotta go
FETKET: Oh, alright! Catch you on the flip side, whatever that means.
Who's Fetket? →